Does anyone know WTF they are doing?

A lot of my friends and many of my clients tell me that I am funny and should start a podcast…but I don’t listen to podcasts (nor do I read blogs), so I keep hitting a wall when thinking about how to start one of these things? My girlfriend gave me some advise- just start. Do a little something every day, so here goes.

As the year comes to a close (more specifically, another DECADE), I ponder what the hell I am doing with my life and if it will ever amount to anything. I am sure that I am not alone in this fact- we are all out here trying to be out best selves so that when we die, people say nice things about us and hopefully we are successful enough to leave some kind of legacy for our families.

It’s been about 2 years since my departure from the tech and corporate structured world and I am not sure that I can say I am in a better place. Financially, I most certainly am not. Becoming an entrepreneur sounded like a great idea, but as I review my year and (lack of) savings, I can’t help but feel I made a big mistake. I am totally more available for my children, which is great. I have the luxury of being able to cook for them and attend their events – shit, I am leading a book club at school next week. But book club leaders don’t pay dividends and the worry is starting to settle in the back of my brain, reminding me we are one swift kick away from a less fortunate life.

I am in the final stretch of graduate school. Two more classes and a capstone and I will have to figure out how to apply this degree to life and make some money off it. I should be working on that plan but here I am blogging… my multi-tasking obviously needs some work.

I am curious though- there are people out there that can tell you exactly where they want to be in five years and once five years pass, they do exactly as they have planned. They work the job, get the promotion, make the family, buy the house- all a part of the plan.

I am definitely not one of those people. Life throws so many curveballs, it seems ridiculous to even try to create a plan. I more or less believe that you can have your goals, work towards them, but have to be flexible with the process. Not every ball you hit will be a homerun and sometimes you are going to miss the base and have to try a new strategy.

I thought I would stay in tech, finish that MBA and make shit loads of money. At some point, I realized I was living someone else’s dream. Tech doesn’t excite me. I wanted to do the “right” thing and create a comfortable life for my kids. At some point, I realized that the “right” thing was costing me my happiness, even though we were financially comfortable.

I know that the best way to support my children would be for me to be happy and show them that we do not need money to be happy- which is exactly how we have been living for the past two years. And if you ask my girls, they can attest to the fact that mom is more happy, we still live comfortably (with less stamps in out passports) but they eat well and have a mother who is more present. Not every day is perfect and I am sure they see day-to-day that I am more mindful with how I spend money, but I think that we have built a stronger family dynamic and hence why this site is called “Raggedy Riches” because we may be broke but we still have wealth.

So, for all of you that are wondering what my plans are for 2020 and what I will be when I finish my education, all I have to say is, “It’s a surprise”

Published by RaggedyRiches

Mother of two Teenage Daughters, Grad Student, entrepreneur, dog lover, probably doing too much...

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